Rejoicing....

The last time I saw her she was a mess. Her younger brother had just died unexpectedly from a heart attack...he was in his mid-twenties. It was the hardest funeral I have ever been to. Ever. At the funeral, her grief was open and raw. She loved him deeply.

But this night was far different. She was radiant. Beaming. The night was hers, and she knew it. It was the wedding she had waited 29 years for. Her brother was not far from our minds, and he was mentioned throughout the night. Yet, we rejoiced. This young lady who through her rebellious teen years found herself pregnant had obviously grown and matured since then. Her wedding honored the Lord and her family. Her daughter, now 10 years old, stood by her Momma during the wedding. And we rejoiced when the groom gave his new daughter a special gift. He called her over during the service and said, "Just like I made a promise to your Momma, I make this promise to you...I will always love you as my own." And he slipped a ring on her little finger just as he had slipped a ring on his bride's finger. The little girl who had been waiting for a father now had one and they hugged their first father-daughter hug. Yes, we rejoiced.

I think often that people who are forgiven much praise much. Tonight I think that people who hurt greatly rejoice greatly.

or maybe my house will be turned upside down...

Those are Emily's words from this post. And those words in Emily's post linked to this book. That book is circulating like crazy at my church and I'd not really given it much notice. But, the video clip at Amazon got my attention. Oh, it got my attention. And it was His further stirring of my heart.....I like the American Dream. I think if we're all really honest...really, really honest...we all really kinda like the American Dream.

I mentioned in the past that I wanted to take an overseas mission trip. And I do. And every time they throw up the video testimonies from Honduras at church, I cry...sometimes it's almost the ugly cry. But the Lord wants more than just my tears. I have realized within the last several days that I only want to do missions when it's comfortable for me. When we have the money. Make that when we have the extra money. Like after we've taken our vacations and spent it on our pleasures. Or when we have the time. And make that when we feel like we have the time. And so on and so on. But...the money isn't even there for vacations right now. And it really may not be the right time. But, He's showing me more...am I ready for the journey? Maybe, just now, it's an attitude of my heart...preparing me for something...maybe later it will, indeed, be that big oversees mission trip...but until then couldn't I do something? Couldn't I find room in my heart to do even the little somethings?

Surely, there is something I can do. Like writing Ro in India every month. Like checking on that relative in prison. Like finding something to do in my community. Like praying, really praying, for those who are doing His radical work. Like just loving like Jesus really loved. Do we really love like Jesus loved...or do we love Him in our American Dream or in our comfort zone... and do we really love ourselves and what we want more?????

to fill my soul...

Looking back I did it for all the wrong reasons. It was not because of the Lord's leading. It was not because of any deep conviction. It was because of Mark Hall. You know Mark Hall, right? Oh, sure you do. Casting Crowns lead singer. They heavily endorse and promote World Vision at their concerts. And being the Casting Crowns groupie that I am, and being all caught up in that moment at the concert some 2 years ago, I signed up to sponsor a child. And so for 2 years, we have sent money each month to help this child with basic needs like school supplies, a blanket. I think that may be what he received with some extra funds we sent for his birthday. A basic black blanket given to him through World Vision. I'd imagine he'd need one as his bed is a "hand made mat". And in 2 years, I can count on one hand how many times I have written this child a letter. And now the conviction sets in. This post. And this post. And last, but not least this post. And I find myself a lame sponsor. So lame. Overwhelmed by my shallowness, I put these words by Ann Voskamp on my refrigerator with my little fellow's picture:

"Maybe we are only at our most beautiful work in the same places too --- the places where we don't hide behind the distractions of stuff, where we finally empty our hands of all our possessions and idols and come to God empty and ready. The places where we can make art with tears.

Where the notes can finally soar in the space.


No one tells you that wealth numbs you to life and consumerism callouses your soul to the sacred.

Or maybe Someone did: “"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:25 NIV)" ~ Ann Voskamp

I think it will be a process to remove the calluses. I have truly been callused by consumerism and numbed by our abundance. But....last night, I pulled out all that I could find I'd been sent in two years, and looked with fresh eyes. An open heart. And I noticed. He's grown in two years. And now is the time to not just help provide his basic, physical needs...but to invest in a soul. And I may find that his is not the only soul that's filled...but mine as well.

Linked at Tuesday's Unwrapped / Chatting at the Sky