I follow her. I read her. I want to approach life as she does. Humble. Real. Grateful. After over a year of following Ann
Voskamp, and even seeing Dawn make her own list in the sidebar, this week I started my own 1000 Gifts list. I've tried in the past, but always stopped because it seemed I didn't have the time. I couldn't find the little things and the list just seemed to become so generic. Will this time...would this time be any different?
My day yesterday started off poorly. Work interrupted school too much. But it was Veteran's Day and everybody else had the day off anyway. So, we embraced it and after I finished my work, we had some play time. We went to the library, and at the library, I had a slight little accident with my car. I asked
Fep, "It's not too bad is it?" She shakes her hand from side to side with a look of sorrow for me on her face as to say, "I hate it for you...but it's scratched, Mom."
Ugh.
I also went for a hair appointment and wrote the biggest check I've ever written to my hair lady. 2 haircuts, 1 hair weave/color, 1 hair product, and 1 discounted Chi flat iron. I'm just
sayin' that Chi purchase was a what a deal. She already had one, but bought another and never used it. She sold it to me for 1/2 price! Can you see my justifying here? Yeah. It was a big check. And I felt so very guilty over pursuing such luxuries. I still feel that guilt this morning.
I sat this morning and thought I need to check in on my 1000 Gift list. I just have to say...this list...
this time...this time is different. I sat thinking, "Yesterday was a bad day. I'm going to have to dig hard. What good will I even find? Still remembering the whole car fiasco...still recovering from paying my hair dresser. My head hurt. I went to bed with a headache. I woke up with a headache. What good will I really find? Maybe a couple of gifts to find and add? But this time is different. My list is simple. The gifts are not fancy. But I do find them to be the greatest gifts. This time is different. Maybe it's in our bad days...that's where we can find the most to be grateful for? If we will only take time to look....
11. Mercy found
12. A phone call filled with excitement of the hope that change could possibly bring
13. The understanding, the memories, the knowing that someone else understands
deeply – reading I Will Carry You
14.A new revelation and new insight in approaching the Lord found in the story of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus (also found in the book I Will Carry You)
15.A short chat with Heather, her voice soft like her name
16.A complete game of Scrabble with the children, and how cool a scrabble board looks when all the letters starting connecting
17.How soft my hair felt after I had it done
18. An impromptu day off school complete with lunch at Chic
Fil A and a trip to the library-relaxing
19. Timothy praying over lunch at Chic
Fil A, “Lord help us eat more chicken” which made me laugh and kind of had me wondering if he was being irreverent…but then... followed by a prayer for Veterans. The irreverence gone…
Maybe if I will only take the time to look.....
That day had been filled with the ugliness of self and the hurt of lonliness. The pain of being forgotten...or so it seemed. As I continue my 1000 Gifts journey, I find that when I most think of jotting down some gifts is when I need to look for them most. When I need to find the beauty instead of the unlovely. And they come, and sometimes I don't think I'll be able to think of one lovely thing. But then they come....
