An Open Letter for Mother's Day

Mammer,

How hard it must have been to raise us in the conditions you had to raise us in.  The uncertainty of if or when your husband would come home and the condition that he would come home in?...three children to raise...doing it a good bit of time alone.  But you did it, and we turned out well, I think.  So, thank you.

And just that you know...even though times were so hard...I don't regret anything.  There was so much stuff we asked you to do, and you always had to say no because we didn't have the money and Dad's alcoholism made things so very unstable.  So, I never got to play basketball and I never got to play the flute in the band.  But now as an adult, it doesn't matter a bit and I don't feel like I missed out on a thing.  And though my children get to do those things now, sometimes I think the busyness it causes to run to violin or basketball or taekwondo, etc. etc....it makes me think that sometimes saying "No" is the wise decision.  So, even though you didn't really have a choice of telling us yes, thank you for saying no.

And even though I didn't really start cooking until I was an adult, I learned so much from just watching.  The kitchen truly was and is your domain.  Your food, your meals, our times in the kitchen.  They are some of our fondest memories.  Chocolate pie.  Need I say more?  Thank you for chocolate pie.

And you never knew that when I went to the district science fair in the 8th grade and I had to go away overnight to do it, I was so glad to get back home.  And you were the one to pick me up...in an orange B210 Datsun.  Not the coolest car.  But that night at that moment I could have cared less.  I was just glad to see you and to be going home.  So, thank you for coming to pick me up.

And those steno books, I watched as you track bills and such.  Making sure the money would somehow work.  I know that my love for budgeting surely must come from you!  And I know that the money always worked because you did without.  Any extra you always spent on us.  Thank you for your selflessness in giving to your children.

A few memories for this Mother's Day.  Happy Mother's Day, Mammer.  I love you.

~Kathy

Raise them to be modest....

I cannot even begin to convey how passionate I am about this subject. Modesty. And I'm in the minority, I know.  And I'm okay with that. I haven't always been as passionate about modesty as I am now, because culture will numb you down. We are so absolutely bombarded with inappropriate images of women that we justify a too short skirt here, a too low top there, and a too tight whatever anywhere. And the more we see, the more numb we get. The more men see, the more it takes for them to see to satisfy that physical excitement. And culture has been happy to give more and more and more.

I am thankful that my husband has a high standard of modesty for myself and Fep. I have had to get rid of more than one dress at his request because he felt the length was too short or something did not cut right. I was not thankful initially! But over time as I have seen the fallout of low standards. And I even see those low standards in church and good Christian families. And I don't think that people mean to have low standards. Again, I think culture has just absolutely numbed us.

The following link is the best link I have ever found in regards to modesty and purity. The. best. ever. It is a survey published on Alex and Brett Harris' website and was a survey taken by a group of men and teens. Here is a sampling:

"Skirts that fall above the knee are immodest." 58.3% of men and teens agree.
"Spaghetti strap shirts and dresses are immodest." 60.9% of men and teens agree.

What is also nice about the survey is that there are written responses by the men and teens who took the survey. For example a 21 year old said about skirts above the knee, "Immodest, unless you don't feel like sitting down ever."

For the complete survey go HERE. You need to know. You need to consider. Is what you wear going to make someone stumble?

My issue with The Hunger Games...

Let me preface this in that I have not read the books and I have not seen the movie. And let me say that I am not saying I will never read the books and I will never see the movie. Focus on the Family Plugged In gives it decent reviews. And although at some time or some point I may see the movie, I do have the a couple of real struggles I am wrestling through at the moment:

1. This movie opened at midnight. Every movie that comes to mind that opened at midnight has had a dark element to it. Harry Potter. The Dark Knight. Twilight. And from what I know of the book, teens/youth being forced to kill for sport...yes, I'd say it has a dark element to it. When I read the Plugged In review, the conclusion, even in a decent review, made everything sound just so dark. Also please notice and don't miss that those movies listed are all targeted at youth.

2. Again, this movie opened at midnight and it's target audience is youth. So, they stayed up until midnight to go see it and did not get home until late thirty. Did they not have school or responsiblities the next day? They had to be exhausted. Are we that driven by the media? The world? What our friends are doing?

3. It is fantasy fiction. It may have some great moral or end line story to it. And again, I have not seen it or read the books. But I just tend to find fantasy fiction a fine line to walk because so much of it can be dark in nature. Please consider that "just because something is "fictional" in genre does not disqualify it from being enormously persuasive and influential. Even more-so, in fact!" (Cassandra at The Unplugged Family). I think we are numb to the dark tone of things in our culture. And I think it continues to be a downward spiral.

4. I read an article online that a church had taken the book and developed a bible study around it to connect with the youth in their church. Seriously?! Honestly, that just makes me want to run. I have read the critics and that the characters are self less, Christlike in giving their life for another. So we have taken a secular piece of fiction and dressed it up for the church. Media and culture should not have that much influence in the church. The church should be impacting the world and not the world impacting the church.

So, this is what I am wrestling with. Wrestling so much so that I have put this post up, taken it down, and now put it back up. I didn't want to offend anybody, but seriously...who really reads my blog!? And after talking it over with The Bob, I'm putting it back up at his encouragement. I realize that I am absolutely in the minority in my views but need to stand on my convictions.

Also, I have received an email from Cassandra at The Unplugged Family. She will have a post coming out this week on The Hunger Games. I'm sure she will have great insight and has researched it much more than myself. You can find her at the link above or her button in the sidebar.

Go Fish.

"I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me....And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you? And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me." ~ Matthew:25:36, 39, 40

Sometimes the shame is in the hiding. And freedom is found in releasing the "secret". I have a brother-in-law in prison. And for some time the only people that knew the how and why were our very closest friends. So, just a handful of about 4-5 families. And I hated telling any new friend, because I hated the shame of the why he is in prison. And I hated a lot of other things. I hated that we were called on to try to pick up pieces of a broken puzzle that we had not put together. I hated that it took its toll on us emotionally and financially. I hated collect phone calls, and visit dates, and attorney calls, and I hated dealing with the fallout of somebody else's sin. I hated a lot. And I was bitter. Bitter rolls off the tongue hard. I find that how the word bitter sounds and how it rolls off the tongue encompasses what the word means and what it is. Bitter..... And my bitterness was not the inability to forgive the sin, but because of what his sin had caused me and my family. It was all very self focused. I was angry and overwhelmed with myself for that bitterness. I am a Christian, and I know better. I know better than to let bitterness fester. I know it is everything opposite of Christ, and I know the freedom in releasing it. I found the journey to release began when Life Action Ministries came to our church for two weeks in October of last year. During which I confessed that bitterness before my church. Cause when you are hiding a "secret", is there no better place to let it out than a room of several hundred people? Well, that's evidently what the Lord thought. And He is always right.

And sometimes releasing is a journey. I began to quit dodging his calls, and on Christmas Eve I saw him for the first time since his incarceration three years ago. However, I was still overwhelmed and struggling with my feelings and emotions. I had not found that peace of release and I was desperate. I was trying to do everything I knew to and what the Lord had shown me in October. I was trying a lot...but maybe the answer is found in obedience and letting the Lord do the rest. I just needed to be obedient and the Lord would handle the rest.

I found the following John Piper video and found it so extremely helpful....

How to Fight Bitterness from Desiring God on Vimeo.

Being that my brother in law has truly repented, I surely do not want to dishonor the cross and the sacrifice of Christ. So, I just began to pray, and I quit trying to fix it in my own power. I had agreed with God over my sin, so I began telling him my struggle with the emotion, and feelings, and that I needed to love my brother-in-law. And I began praying to do that. To love him like Jesus does.

The second Sunday of February was another visitation. My sweet husband told me, "You really don't have to go every time I go. I know it is not easy, and it is not fun." But I told him in my spirit I knew I needed to go. And I thought about what he said....how it's not easy. And all this time I've been sending him alone. In the past three years could I have not come alongside my husband and offered support I'm sure he needed? I am convicted of my selfishness. Really. How self absorbed can I be?

The visit was much better than my first. My attitude was as good as it can be when you are going into a prison. We ate snacks. We played games. Moose, myself, and my brother-in-law played Go Fish. I didn't really think anything about the day other than I knew it was a much better visit than my first. That night as we got ready for bed The Bob told me how much he appreciated what I did. I was a bit surprised and then he said, "You played games with him. We've never done that before....and you loved him today." The Bob had not known my prayers to love...to really love. And my heart swelled with thanksgiving in that maybe he was right. The Lord is still working it out and is not finished with me...shown through a simple game of Go Fish.

The smallest moment.

We are still counting a year of graces. I personally have been working at this for about a year now. And I think I'm just now getting it. It was my children's smiles over my writing "Rupert's soft, warm ears". After they commented on it, I thought about that moment. It was very cold, he was trotting happily beside me on our way to the mailbox. And I reached over for a simple pet. And those ears in that cold were soft...and warm...and silky. And thinking about that moment I got it. We are surrounded by life. Life!! Life that God gives for our enjoyment. Everyday life is most beautiful. Yes, it's painful and hard and I could go on and on and on. But in each day, just look. Look and there you will find something than money can't buy or that materialism won't trump. Just look for it in the smallest moments and you'll find it.... Gifts to you from Him.

Let God...

Over a year ago I read I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith. As a little side note and tidbit, she is the wife of the lead singer of the group Selah. An excellent read for anyone who has lost a child. One of the things I took from the book other than finding someone to identify with the grief of losing a baby is this point that she made: When Jesus was told that Lazarus was sick, he was simply told that Lazarus was sick. It wasn't "Jesus, Lazarus is sick and this is how I want you to fix it and this is how I want you to comfort me and this is how I want you etc., etc." And when Jesus was told there was no more wine, He was told simply that. There was no more wine. It wasn't "Jesus there is no more wine and we really could use some more and could you get us some somehow someway. Go to the store, perform a miracle, etc., etc." He was simply told the wine was gone, and then He did, in fact, perform a miracle turning water to wine. How often I tell God my problem and tell Him how I'd like it fixed. "Lord, Fep needs braces. Could you provide a big tax refund this year to pay for them?" I couldn't just leave it at "Lord, Fep needs braces." Lately in my prayer life, I've been trying to just leave it at "Lord, Fep needs braces." It is hard.

Our business can literally be feast or famine. And this morning when there wasn't enough calls to keep our techs busy for the day, I started in with "Lord, we need provision and could you cause the phone to ring, and what about this and what about that. That could provide work." But this morning remembering I just needed to tell Jesus the problem and not the solution, I stopped. I just had to stop myself. "Lord we don't have work." And that was sufficient. I work often from home, and my worry wart self decided to look at the dispatch board in the computer late this afternoon. And I was moved to tears as He is faithful to provide. Even without me telling Him how to do it and how to fix it.

I'm reminded of Ann's quote, "Bend the knee, be small, and let God give what He wants to give." Lord, keep me small. Lord, help me to remember to tell you my problem and not tell you how to fix it.

Word!...

So, after the last post you'd think my word for the year is "Gratitude". But it's not. That was probably my word last year. This year's word...

Proverbs talks a lot about the simple, and not necessarily in a good way! I'm not talking that kind of simple, I'm talking simplifying...simplicity in order. I've lived a cluttered, busy, too busy, unorganized, and unplanned several months. Our home, my attitude, our finances have all suffered because of it. Maybe "intentional" would be my runner up word. Careful thought to what goes on the calendar, how the days are spent, where that money goes. When I think about simplifying my life, it gives me a warm fuzzy.

What word inspires you?

17th Year...

17 Years ago today I married The Bob. Three little tidbits of what I know:

*You have to fight for your marriage, and while there are seasons of highs there are also seasons of lows. A great marriage doesn't just happen without work. The pressure of the world, friends, children, extended family, work, hobbies, activities, finances, and plain ole life will all try to crowd out what was set apart for you and your spouse. Not to mention the devil delights in failed marriages.

*Love is a commitment. Not a warm fuzzy. Not that warm fuzzies don't happen, but that warm fuzzies are surface and commitments go deep.

*People change. But hopefully if your marriage is Christ-centered, you'll grow in the change for the good and the better. Our marriage should enhance who we are in Christ. So thankful to be married to a man who does just that.

Tebow and Voskamp

What could Tim Tebow and Ann Voskamp possibly have in common?

One person extremely famous. One person with only moderate fame. But both with a passion for Jesus.

Then I read it early in the morning. A story on students getting suspended for "Tebowing". I couldn't help but walk away from the article thinking, "I wonder if his message is getting lost. Are we starting to bow before Tebow instead of bowing before Christ?"

I leave the article to check email where daily I get Ann Voskamp's daily blog post. She never ceases to challenge. She never ceases to touch my heart. She never ceases to make me want to seek a little harder after Christ. And sometimes, dare I say it? I'd really like to be like her.

Then the thoughts hit hard...."You should not want to be like Ann Voskamp. You should want to be like the One she emulates. Just like the Tebow thing." She's only trying to point to the Cross and not herself. She's just daily trying to empty herself of herself. And it comes hard. But when we truly seek Christ, when we truly want to look more like Him, we have to abandon self. Self dies hard. Putting off idols. Putting off self. Putting on Jesus......

Hope for the outcast....

For some reason lately, I've been thinking a lot about who I am and how I am. That I grew up being extremely introverted and shy. That I've walked a lot in the shadow of others. That I was rather an outcast in high school. I had been thinking on these things, and during our sermon a couple of weeks ago, our pastor made the comment, "God calls us be ourselves. Stop wishing you were someone else." And my heart broke, as I have many times wished I was like someone else. Prettier. Smarter. Wittier. More talented (any talent would be good). More outgoing. That night in our small group, one of the youth in our group talked about how he thought a good thing to do was to go to that person who sits alone at school and talk with them. Later in the conversation, The Bob encouraged that young man to do just that if it was on his heart. And The Bob said, "I married an introverted and shy girl who spent her time at school alone." And my eyes welled with tears barely able to maintain my composure as others in the group looked and stared at me. Even as I type it now, my eyes fill. Wounds have healed but scars remain. And there is the wonder of who the Lord has turned me into and the friendships that I now have.

Then yesterday, through blog hopping I ended up at a blog of a fellow church member. And she talked about how her heart broke for her middle school aged son who it sounds like is enduring similar to what I did all through school. I don't even know this family and my heart broke for him. Because I've been there. Because I know. If I could talk with him, I would tell him you'll grow up. You'll find your place over time. You'll have great friends. And stay grounded in the Lord and choose friends who are grounded in the Lord and you'll be amazed at how you are blessed by those friendships. I'd tell him that me the shy and outcast girl in her school ended up marrying the most popular boy in his school! Funny how the Lord works those things out. I'd tell him it really is just a season and that those school years seem like they will go on forever, but they are just a blink. And although his middle school aged youth may keep him from seeing what a mature 42 years allow me to see...I'd tell him what really matters, what really matters most, is who we are in Christ. He is the hope for the outcast.

Just get in....

This post. This post is mostly a picture post. And the pictures, as always, are beautiful. But the first three sentences sink down deep.

"Sometimes you just have to get into the boat. Because getting in the boat comes before you get to walk on water. Every miracle always begins with the first ordinary step of faithfulness." ~ Ann Voskamp

And my heart is heavy and I wonder how many times I pass by the boat or just plain refuse to get in? Am I faithful enough? Am I obedient enough? And what miracles do I miss because I miss the boat?

Oh Jesus, help me today. Help me to just get in the boat. You'll do the rest......

Words in print...

When I was wearing my Micah 6:8 necklace and friends saw it for the first time, they all immediately commented and asked. So I shared where it came from and why Micah 6:8. And it had dawned on me as I had been wearing it and I shared with them that when you wear scripture around your neck...and it's your husband's verse...it's kinda hard to be irritated, aggravated, frustrated, or have anything other than super loving thoughts about your husband. Not that The Bob would ever do anything to irritate or frustrate me ;) As I am a self confessed moody person, I was having a moody moment this past Saturday, and I giggled and said, "I think I need to go put on my Micah 6:8 necklace." After the bear of a stressful day on Tuesday, I was thinking I just needed to take a rope and wear the Bible around my neck. Seriously.

There is just something about words in print. I have recently noticed I can sing worship songs all week long. And I do, in fact, listen to worship and praise music on my iPod almost daily. But put the words in print in front of me on an overhead at church or just looking at lyrics on the computer along with the music....seeing it and verbalizing it...it seeps down into my heart in the crevices that are dry or hurting...and it hydrates and heals...And as I type, I think about reading scripture out loud or just looking at the words meditating....and yes, there is just something about words in print...especially His Word...

For the days in between...

I surely hope I never come across that I think I have arrived or that I have it all together. Because goodness knows, I don't. I. do. not. A good number of posts that go up are my "happy" and "let's make sure I remember this" posts. But there are the days in between. And some of those days are just so ordinary that they are unbloggable. And then there are those days like yesterday. A day that tears run down a good bit of the day. Struggling with the the burdens and weight of life, the consequences of sin that are far reaching in ways you'd never imagine, and struggling with offering grace for that sin. A day of feeling the weight of knowing that I know that Grace personally and why can't I offer it as freely as He offers it to me? Trying to hard to get there.

I read a quote today by Emily Freeman that said, "Grace doesn't balance out...or marry law. And that can be uncomfortable. If grace doesn't in some way and on some level offend you, then perhaps you haven't met Jesus." I had to think about that for a while. I had to let it sink in. And I think maybe I get it now? Grace isn't always fair. Actually, grace may never be fair. Extending grace is hard and uncomfortable. Particularly the kind of grace that Jesus extends to us...to me. But Jesus doesn't call us to comfort. And sometimes we are just plain ole going to have the days in between...the days that hurt...the days that are uncomfortable. And His Love and His Grace are in those days, too...and He will get me to the point that I can extend His Grace to those as undeserving as me.

Yes. His Love and Grace are especially for the days in between.

Beauty....

So, Fep and I have began our journey through her birthday book Uncompromising: A Heart Changed by Radical Love. The first chapter was on Beauty and all that encompasses including looks and weight. And I was very surprised at the conversation it spurred between Fep and I. I've known of her own insecurities with her looks, but I was surprised as she began to share with me of her friends insecurities as well. Cause good Christian girls should be confident in who they are in the Lord, right? Foolish my thinking. Good Christian girls are real girls.

It's not surprising that I have know and have known several adults, friends and family, that have succumbed to plastic surgery in some form or fashion. To be honest, I have my own struggles with body parts in this aging 41 year old body! I have to constantly remind myself of Proverbs 31:30. And I know. I know it's all vanity.

Where does it stop? When will our society's focus on beauty end? When we all, even us good Christians, start focusing on what true beauty is.

"Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."

1 Peter 3:3-4

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:30

Beach Blast!

I did not sign up to work VBS. I worked it last year and found myself extremely stressed by the time it took and not being able to take care of my responsibilities at my job or home. Mainly my job. So, this year I decided I wouldn't do it. I have had a year to learn how to handle working, homeschooling, keeping my home, etc., etc., but I thought I just don't want that stress again. Long story short...our children's pastor plugged me in and I couldn't say no because I knew he must really need help if he plugged me in before he actually talked to me. I determined not to be stressed cause it's only a week, right? I determined to have a good attitude, serve well, serve happy. I made the devotions led by the children's pastor before we began in the morning. And you know what? Attitude is everything. VBS blessed my socks off. My house is a wreck and dirty. My work didn't get done on this day. But tomorrow is Saturday and all that will be caught up tomorrow. Anyway, every single day my heart was touched by something that brought me to tears. At times, it was almost embarrassing cause I mean what adult cries at VBS? Today, I thought I had made it. A couple of things blessed my heart, but not to the point of tears. We were literally about to pull in my driveway when the following conversation happened:

Moose: Mom, you know the lady that always is helping Conner? ((Conner is autistic, and "that lady" is his Mom))

Me: Yeah. I know who she is.

Moose: Well, today at the end of Bible Class she thanked all of our class for being so kind and so open to Conner and treating him so well. She said never had any group of children treated him so kind before and accepted him. And she started crying.

Me: ((tears flood eyes, can barely talk)) Awwwwww. That is so sweet....

So, I didn't make it today. I got all misty and verklempt again. Moose is in 4th grade and was in the biggest class in VBS this year. They ran anywhere from 20-25 children, and 75% of them were boys. So, for a group of children to open their hearts to the "different" child....well, it still makes me misty.....

Oh, and Beach Blast! was our VBS theme this year :)

Losing my cool...

This post caught my eye, mind, and heart the Saturday morning I read it. I happen to very much agree with the post. I do believe there is a movement of coolness in church that is watering down the Gospel.

Hours later I had to go to Walmart wearing a t-shirt that happened to be a Chrisitan t-shirt...if I can remember...maybe even from my church. Not that what I was wearing was important, but I was branding myself with that t-shirt. Anyway, our small Mississippi town has it's very own "Rain Man". And I hope you know the Dustin Hoffman character to which I am referring. Our Rain Man's name is Michael. He is a mid 30's black man who loves children...and I mean LOVES children...never meets a stranger...and his special gift is that he can tell you the day of the week that you were born. Tell him your birthday by month, day, and year and he can tell you within seconds the day of the week you were born. It's quite amazing. And most every one in town I think knows Michael by now. So, Moose and I were in Walmart and out of nowhere there is Michael. He grabs Moose for a hug, and begins to start up a conversation...very loudly. I could feel every eye at the check out area on me, and I was wishing he'd really go away. It did not take me too long from leaving the store to realize I was too cool...or so I thought...to engage Michael without worrying about the others around me. And my heart sank at my shallowness. Had I not earlier just read about being too cool? Remember that when you obtain wisdom and knowledge that you are accountable for it. After reading and agreeing with that post, I was then accountable for it.



This is a R movie and I don't think this will have anything offensive in it as it's just the trailer for the movie. Dustin Hoffman's character just reminds me so much of Michael...I hope to see Michael again, soon. And next time, I hope I'm completely uncool.

Be small...

Her words always touch me. Always move me. And I don't know if I read them in a post on her site or if it was off of my DaySpring dayminder taken from her book, One Thousand Gifts. And it doesn't really matter which it was. Only that I found them. And that I needed them. The words?


"Bend the knee...be small...and let God give what He wants to give..." ~ Ann Voskamp

I could not get them out of my head yesterday. Be small. Or today. Be small. When I want to complain and complain that my feelings are hurt....be small. When I want to justify my emotions and attitude...be small. When it's not fun or anything that you would look forward to, but it's the *right* thing to do.....be small. Maybe so many feelings would not be hurt, maybe such high expectations would not be put on friendships, and maybe I'd keep my attitude and heart in check if only I would be small. What keeps me from being small? Pride. Self. What keeps me from wanting to accept what God gives? For being thankful for what He gives? The same.

Today I'm small...and I will be thankful for what He gives.....

"He must increase, but I must decrease" ~ John 3:30

Just because...

It was late. He gets home late a lot. Work does that to us. Sometimes we don't know if we own a business or if it owns us. But it was late, and I was hungry. I looked to see if he would sit in the driveway and finish up his day on the phone, and who knows how long that could take, and I was hungry. But just as I was thinking I'd go ahead and start eating without him, I saw the outside dark. No truck lights, no cell phone lights, and I knew that it meant he was coming in. And I was hungry. And he came in with a big, colorful, beautiful hydrangea and a card. Just because....



And then I forgot how hungry I was. Taken back by the beauty of that hydrangea, the perfect words on the card, and that he did it all just because. I often don't feel worthy of just because...

The next morning I was fetching some work he had brought home for me and left in his truck. And as I was digging through, I saw it. The Love Dare. Remember that book made hugely popular by the movie, Fireproof? And I knew. I knew. I knew that he had completed Day 1 with those flowers and card....which actually made them that much more special. Because everybody and their brother was reading and going through that book a few years ago. But we rather didn't get to it and let it sit on a shelf. And he's grabbed that book off the shelf, and he's not going through it because everybody else is or because it's part of a church marriage builder, but he's doing it just because....just because....he loves me....

I didn't tell him I found the book. I knew he probably wanted to go through it quietly himself. And when I told him that I had gotten the work from his truck, the look on his face told me that, indeed, he wanted to go through the book quietly...just because he loves me....

Making room for one more...or three...

The theme for this DNOW this year was "degrees". The speaker said that if you looked up the word degrees that the definition would define it as a point of reference or point of intensity...or something like that. I'm too lazy to look it up right now :) So, the theme for the weekend, "Where are you in your level of intensity with the Lord?"

Our youth pastor, Jay, contacted me Saturday before the event and asked if 10 girls and 3 leaders would be too many for me and was it ok with me. Please keep in mind they stay overnight for the weekend on Friday and Saturday. My house is smallish...by today's standards. Approximately 1800 sq. ft. Jay did try to keep the groups to 6-8 kids, but I thought 2 more won't be too bad. So, I said it would be fine. We were really only talking 2 more kids, right?

Wednesday evening I did not make it to church and late Wednesday evening one of the youth leaders called and said, "I have 3 more girls that really need to be at DNOW. Jay will not add them without you and The Bob saying it is ok. Can they please come?" My first reaction (which I kept to myself): "Are you SERIOUS?! Where in the world am I going to put 3 more people? Do you realize that would be a total of SIXTEEN PEOPLE with 13 girls and 3 leaders?" But I couldn't shake that the youth leader said it was a "need". I couldn't stand the thought of being a roadblock to the Lord working in somebody's life. Not that the Lord needs me or my house to do what He will, but you get the point. So, I said, while feeling a bit overwhelmed, "Sure! We'll find somewhere to put them."

Last time I said popular or unpopular we all just need Jesus. Well, these 3 girls added did need Jesus. And one of those three girls...was saved! And when I found out, I was so completely overwhelmed, so completely blessed, and so completely beside myself that we made room....we made room for 3 more...and it made even my level of itensity with Jesus rise :)

DNOW

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I decided I would serve. And I spent the better part of the week cleaning and getting ready. I think I should have been in prayer more. For their hearts. The evening was here and I met my crew. They were girls of all kinds spending the whole weekend in my home for DNOW (church youth event). Actually, they are still here, and I have a gazillion things to do, but I'm writing this instead. So, I can remember. They are all pre-teen and early teen in age, and there are sweet girls, pretty girls, popular girls, and unpopular girls. And it's one of unpopular girls who seems to have taken me back a bit. I should have a special place in my heart for unpopular girls...as I was unpopular, too. This girl is slow. Like you could tell she is maybe a special needs. And so I'm trying to make it a point to not cast her off. I think I need to try harder. They are all at church now with their leader going through there sessions and small community mission projects, and so I began to tidy up a bit. I'm just saying having 13 girls and 3 leaders in your home and spending the night for the weekend...in your small home...well, it's an excellent way to give up yourself. Anyway, I'm tidying, and putting things up. And I come upon the unpopular girls stuff. It's worn and not new and fancy like some of the other girls things. And I should have a special place in my heart for girls like that cause I grew up on the poor side and didn't always have new or fancy. I move her stuff over so I can get in a closet to put some things away. I look down and see him...or her. It's mostly covered but I can just see it enough, and I pull it out. A stuffed animal so worn and loved. And I don't know why but tears filled my eyes? Well, I do know why. In a time when pre-teen and teen girls are so past the stuffed animal stage, this young girl is not. I wonder what the popular girls, way too cool for stuffed animals would say. Well, nothing because it is a church event, but I can't help but have my heart filled by her, her tattered things, and that worn out stuffed animal.

So, I'm off. Off to pray for these young ladies in the making. And I'll pray earnestly for them all...knowing that whether unpopular or popular...we just all really need Jesus.