A Mighty Fortress...

Worship I never ever get tired of. And take note Heathahlee, should something tragic happen to me, and I die...please sing this at my funeral. Okay? :)

Beauty....

So, Fep and I have began our journey through her birthday book Uncompromising: A Heart Changed by Radical Love. The first chapter was on Beauty and all that encompasses including looks and weight. And I was very surprised at the conversation it spurred between Fep and I. I've known of her own insecurities with her looks, but I was surprised as she began to share with me of her friends insecurities as well. Cause good Christian girls should be confident in who they are in the Lord, right? Foolish my thinking. Good Christian girls are real girls.

It's not surprising that I have know and have known several adults, friends and family, that have succumbed to plastic surgery in some form or fashion. To be honest, I have my own struggles with body parts in this aging 41 year old body! I have to constantly remind myself of Proverbs 31:30. And I know. I know it's all vanity.

Where does it stop? When will our society's focus on beauty end? When we all, even us good Christians, start focusing on what true beauty is.

"Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."

1 Peter 3:3-4

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:30

Thirteen....

The Bob calls an infant carrier/carseat a "baby basket". And it always makes me smile when I hear him say, "Fep, I can still remember the day we brought a little dark hair baby girl home in a baby basket!" Believe it or not she had head full of almost black hair when she was born. And today that little blonde haired girl turns 13. Today she turns 13? Really? It seems like just yesterday that we brought her home in a baby basket. All the time in between seems to have passed just that quickly...from yesterday to today. And I'll blink my eyes, and then she'll be 18. It hurts my Mom heart to see her grow up and away, and at the same time, I can't wait to see the woman that the LORD fashions her to be! Why is watching your children grow up so heart filling and so heartbreaking all at the same time?

She's changing so very fast. Her own thoughts, her own opinions, her own ideas. Sometimes I like her budding independence. Sometimes I want her to be 7 years old again. I miss the days of My Little Ponies that have now been replaced with with an iPod. She's in between really....one minute she's playing with Legos and the next minute she asks me at what age can she wear makeup? The makeup question...it blindsided me. So, over the next several and very short years, I hope to continue to expand on teaching that we started when she was just a little little girl. The purity book we've read since she was just a little girl was The Princess Kiss, and now she's ready for a "big girl" purity book, and we'll read over the course of the next several weeks Uncompromising: A Heart Changed by Radical Love. Purity, Modesty, Real Beauty, Biblical Womanhood... all so very lost in our society. I'm so grateful that she truly has a heart for the LORD and she will continue to embrace that teaching, I believe.

Today she turns 13. So, we will celebrate today with family and friends and gifts and cake. There will be lots of excitement and lots of laughter in this day. There will also be lots of love.....and to be honest there will be a corner of my heart that aches just a bit as I try to soak it all in......

Beach Blast!

I did not sign up to work VBS. I worked it last year and found myself extremely stressed by the time it took and not being able to take care of my responsibilities at my job or home. Mainly my job. So, this year I decided I wouldn't do it. I have had a year to learn how to handle working, homeschooling, keeping my home, etc., etc., but I thought I just don't want that stress again. Long story short...our children's pastor plugged me in and I couldn't say no because I knew he must really need help if he plugged me in before he actually talked to me. I determined not to be stressed cause it's only a week, right? I determined to have a good attitude, serve well, serve happy. I made the devotions led by the children's pastor before we began in the morning. And you know what? Attitude is everything. VBS blessed my socks off. My house is a wreck and dirty. My work didn't get done on this day. But tomorrow is Saturday and all that will be caught up tomorrow. Anyway, every single day my heart was touched by something that brought me to tears. At times, it was almost embarrassing cause I mean what adult cries at VBS? Today, I thought I had made it. A couple of things blessed my heart, but not to the point of tears. We were literally about to pull in my driveway when the following conversation happened:

Moose: Mom, you know the lady that always is helping Conner? ((Conner is autistic, and "that lady" is his Mom))

Me: Yeah. I know who she is.

Moose: Well, today at the end of Bible Class she thanked all of our class for being so kind and so open to Conner and treating him so well. She said never had any group of children treated him so kind before and accepted him. And she started crying.

Me: ((tears flood eyes, can barely talk)) Awwwwww. That is so sweet....

So, I didn't make it today. I got all misty and verklempt again. Moose is in 4th grade and was in the biggest class in VBS this year. They ran anywhere from 20-25 children, and 75% of them were boys. So, for a group of children to open their hearts to the "different" child....well, it still makes me misty.....

Oh, and Beach Blast! was our VBS theme this year :)

Losing my cool...

This post caught my eye, mind, and heart the Saturday morning I read it. I happen to very much agree with the post. I do believe there is a movement of coolness in church that is watering down the Gospel.

Hours later I had to go to Walmart wearing a t-shirt that happened to be a Chrisitan t-shirt...if I can remember...maybe even from my church. Not that what I was wearing was important, but I was branding myself with that t-shirt. Anyway, our small Mississippi town has it's very own "Rain Man". And I hope you know the Dustin Hoffman character to which I am referring. Our Rain Man's name is Michael. He is a mid 30's black man who loves children...and I mean LOVES children...never meets a stranger...and his special gift is that he can tell you the day of the week that you were born. Tell him your birthday by month, day, and year and he can tell you within seconds the day of the week you were born. It's quite amazing. And most every one in town I think knows Michael by now. So, Moose and I were in Walmart and out of nowhere there is Michael. He grabs Moose for a hug, and begins to start up a conversation...very loudly. I could feel every eye at the check out area on me, and I was wishing he'd really go away. It did not take me too long from leaving the store to realize I was too cool...or so I thought...to engage Michael without worrying about the others around me. And my heart sank at my shallowness. Had I not earlier just read about being too cool? Remember that when you obtain wisdom and knowledge that you are accountable for it. After reading and agreeing with that post, I was then accountable for it.



This is a R movie and I don't think this will have anything offensive in it as it's just the trailer for the movie. Dustin Hoffman's character just reminds me so much of Michael...I hope to see Michael again, soon. And next time, I hope I'm completely uncool.

The better part...

I had been thinking about her. She's growing so fast...probably only about 5 years now before she's leaving the nest. Five very short, blink of an eye years. I had been thinking about her and how so very much like me she is. Shy. Introverted. And unfortunately...moody. But then I thought about her spirit...tender, soft, moldable. She's so much more than I was at her age. If you took her tender age of almost 13, it took me another 10 years to my life to yield what the Holy Spirit is creating in her. And then I thought, "She's the better part of me." And then life happened and she argued with her brother and had a moody moment and the better part of me seemed to be not so much better.

Days later, she was exerting a bit of a pre-teen, growing pains kind of attitude, and it really got next to me. As her little body is already in puberty, and hormonal changes abound, I thought, "This is crazy. She has got to be close to getting her monthly visitor!" There were tears and a lot of them, but I knew I was right, and I would not be swayed by her pre-teen tantrum. I left her to herself to gather herself and regroup. I went a while later to check on her, and she opened her bedroom door with big eyes that were obviously still wet. I thought to myself, "You have got to be kidding me? Are we still not over this?" And I asked her, "Are you still crying?" And then that better part showed up. In a blubbering mess of her little self she said, "I am so sorry! I am so embarrassed by how ugly I've acted. That's why I've stayed in my room. I've been too embarrassed to come out because of how I acted." I scooped her up with a big hug and a kiss on the head and told her all was forgiven. She's definitely the better part. Definitely. So much more tender to the Holy Spirit, humility, and repentance than I ever thought about being at her age. I wasn't really taught those things though as I didn't grow up in a Christ centered home. But nevertheless, she's me, and she is the better part....

Be small...

Her words always touch me. Always move me. And I don't know if I read them in a post on her site or if it was off of my DaySpring dayminder taken from her book, One Thousand Gifts. And it doesn't really matter which it was. Only that I found them. And that I needed them. The words?


"Bend the knee...be small...and let God give what He wants to give..." ~ Ann Voskamp

I could not get them out of my head yesterday. Be small. Or today. Be small. When I want to complain and complain that my feelings are hurt....be small. When I want to justify my emotions and attitude...be small. When it's not fun or anything that you would look forward to, but it's the *right* thing to do.....be small. Maybe so many feelings would not be hurt, maybe such high expectations would not be put on friendships, and maybe I'd keep my attitude and heart in check if only I would be small. What keeps me from being small? Pride. Self. What keeps me from wanting to accept what God gives? For being thankful for what He gives? The same.

Today I'm small...and I will be thankful for what He gives.....

"He must increase, but I must decrease" ~ John 3:30

Late birthday post...

I tried to get this post up on her birthday, but blogger was messed up the night I tried to do it and through the next morning, too, so I couldn't. And then after I missed the official date of her birth, the intensity in getting it done decreased a bit. Just that it got done was important, so here I am.

Beth's birthday was May 12th. However, that day actually isn't as significant to me as Mother's Day in remembering her, because it was on Mother's Day that we found out she was gone and that she had quietly slipped away to be with Jesus. And that Mother's Day of her passing has forever changed my Mother's Days since. So grateful, so blessed with the two that I have still here, but so desperately missing her. Kind of like the Scripture that talks about the 99 sheep and the 1 that is missing, ya know? I have light and shadows all rolled up in one on Mother's Day now....

I was taking The Bob's mom home after Mother's Day activities while he and the kids stayed home and worked in the garden. After I dropped her off, I decided to stop by the cemetery where Beth was buried as it's only about 5 minutes or less away. The thoughts rolled through my mind on my way there that I was such a loser mom because I hadn't been in forever and it had been forever since I had put flowers on her grave. Her grave was surely bare. And what kind of mom, what good mom, goes years without putting flowers on her child's grave? I only can make myself feel better knowing she's always, always in my heart and she's really with Jesus anyway. All these thoughts rolling, and then I see it. Oh my....


Somebody put flowers there! I actually think they may have blown off another's grave and someone just put them in one of her vases. But when I drove up and saw them, my heart caught. And aren't they perfect for a little girl? White. Pink. Pink ribbon. Perfect. All I can think is that the Lord cares so much more deeply than we remember sometimes...and He covered for this "loser mom" making sure my baby had flowers...and He reminded this "loser mom" that He has held me the whole time since her passing...and while the Scripture says that the one with 99 sheep will go looking for the lost one, I need not wonder or look for Beth. She's with Jesus.....

Just because...

It was late. He gets home late a lot. Work does that to us. Sometimes we don't know if we own a business or if it owns us. But it was late, and I was hungry. I looked to see if he would sit in the driveway and finish up his day on the phone, and who knows how long that could take, and I was hungry. But just as I was thinking I'd go ahead and start eating without him, I saw the outside dark. No truck lights, no cell phone lights, and I knew that it meant he was coming in. And I was hungry. And he came in with a big, colorful, beautiful hydrangea and a card. Just because....



And then I forgot how hungry I was. Taken back by the beauty of that hydrangea, the perfect words on the card, and that he did it all just because. I often don't feel worthy of just because...

The next morning I was fetching some work he had brought home for me and left in his truck. And as I was digging through, I saw it. The Love Dare. Remember that book made hugely popular by the movie, Fireproof? And I knew. I knew. I knew that he had completed Day 1 with those flowers and card....which actually made them that much more special. Because everybody and their brother was reading and going through that book a few years ago. But we rather didn't get to it and let it sit on a shelf. And he's grabbed that book off the shelf, and he's not going through it because everybody else is or because it's part of a church marriage builder, but he's doing it just because....just because....he loves me....

I didn't tell him I found the book. I knew he probably wanted to go through it quietly himself. And when I told him that I had gotten the work from his truck, the look on his face told me that, indeed, he wanted to go through the book quietly...just because he loves me....

U.S. South tornadoes response | World Vision

I went online to make our monthly contribution to Rohit in India. And then I watched this on their site. And I cried. I cried over their circumstances, but I think I cried more over my selfishness. Earlier I had been making sure that the kids knew what I wanted for Mother's Day. A new comforter for our bed. I've been lusting over a new comforter for about six months now. Ours is getting old and worn, and I think it's about six years old or maybe more...I don't know. And it doesn't really matter. Because it still keeps me warm at night. How in the world can I now recieve such a gift when others, my neighbors right here in Mississippi, have lost....everything...



“You only have what you give away. All that you’ll ever have is only what you’ve shared” ~ Ann Voskamp