Pancake memories...

As mentioned in a past post, my Daddy was an alcoholic. Looking past that, looking to the sober times, there are memories to be cherished. And one of the things I talk about often are his pancakes. That they were so yummy. That he cut them into perfect squares and triangles. I was with my brother (pictured with Fep above) recently, and something came up about Daddy, and he mentioned Dad's pancakes. I smiled and commented, and he said, "You know that's about all we have left of Dad are his pancakes." And while I can remember more good things about my Daddy than just pancakes, my brother confirmed our love of his pancakes.

This Christmas my brother came over early Christmas morning because he wanted to cook my Daddy's pancakes for us. I have to say I never knew the exact recipe until this year. I've always just used a box mix when I make them. And the pancakes my brother made were good, but I have to say....they didn't taste like I remembered. And I think I like the box mix better. And that made me sad. Cause those pancakes were the bomb diggity (yes, I just said bomb diggity) growing up, and with my Daddy's alcoholic history, I did cherish that memory of when he made those. But then I realized that's whats really important anyway. It's the memories. It's the good memories not the actual taste of the pancakes themselves. And now with the memories of my Daddy and pancakes, I also have a sweet memory of my brother, too. He was so pleased with himself cooking up those special pancakes for us. And it was all done in much love....love for me, love for my children, and love for that special memory of my Daddy.

Ooops! I did it again...

When I made that cake 9 months ago, who would have thought? Who would have ever thought that I'd actually misspell "birthday" again? Not me. That was good for a one time laugh, right?
Enter birthday cake #2.....

MMMMM HMMMMM. I misspelled birthday again!! Good grief. And I got nothing this time. I was putting those candles on that cake, got to the end to put on the "y", and thought, "Why do I have two letters left?" And then I saw what I had done....more laughs....more smiles...more memories.

Yes, I homeschool my children. Don't judge me ;)

Ohhhhh! And today, just happens to be my sweet husband's birthday. He loves me even though I can't spell "birthday"!

Goodbye Woobie. You'll be missed....

The Woobie did not originally belong to Moose but Fep. Fep was not a baby who needed much. No paci, not too dependent on a bottle, no lovie of any sort. She cared nothing about the white crocheted blanket made for her by a lady at church. Moose on the other hand was much in need of creature comforts. He was a paci lovin' kind of baby. And he did not settle easily. One day as he was down for his nap, he was just a fussin'. And I stood over the crib wondering what to do and I thought about a friend who said her baby loved to be covered up from head to toe. So, I took The Woobie and draped it across Moose face and all. He immediately quit crying. And that began the love affair with The Woobie. He and The Woobie, or Woob for short, were quite inseparable.

But now nine, almost ten years later, The Woobie is worn. Just last night as he was snuggled in bed with his Woob, he said, "Look what the cat did." And he pulled out a very long piece of yarn from his Woobie. Today when I found his Woobie, I saw that it had a large hole. The yarn has been so thin for a while, and I'm not surprised it has a large hole in it. Even though he's been too old for it for quite some time, he has shown no signs of wanting to put it away. So, I did what I hated to do and told him it was time. It was time to put The Woobie away or there would be nothing left of The Woobie. I took out his baby box and knew this was it. It was the last daily visible, physical reminder of all those precious baby memories. It made my heart hurt. Still does.

So, in the box on top of the ultra sound picture, cards, hospital paper gown, etc., etc. lay The Woobie. Moose said, "I'm okay right now. But I know I'll really miss it tonight." And then my heart filled just a little more......

To Hear the Quiet....

By nature, I'm a homebody. So, that I love being a wife, mother, homemaker, comes rather naturally for me. I love having my house in order, routines, etc., etc., etc. I love every day kind of every day stuff. That December through the first week of January was none of that was rather trying for me. I tried to embrace the season, and there were moments that surely I did. But overall it was rather stressful for me. In the end, I was depleted by too many places, too many people, and too much busyness. Nothing that looked routine. Except maybe a day here or there. Probably that the Lord knew I needed that just to keep my sanity.

Now in this second week of January, I am reclaiming that life I love. This morning as I prayed, I prayed over routine, structure, and order. The people are gone, the chaos has calmed, and I find myself already being filled. Sunday evening we had a snowfall like we haven't in quite some time. Maybe 5 to 6 inches here. And I always think of winter as quiet. There is such a huge difference when you go out at night in summer and in winter. Summer nights are filled with bugs, frogs, locusts all harmonizing together. And I like that. But winter...winter nights are so quiet. There is just not a single sound to be heard. This morning as I was making my bed and looking out the window, seeing the blanket of snow which still covers the ground, I could literally hear the quiet. And I found my soul being filled...and I look forward to quiet days filled with routine, family, home, and Him.

For the New Year....

This won't mean a thing to anyone but me, and that's okay...looking forward to what's in store for this new year...and what He will do in it....

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! .... And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
~Ecc 4:9-10, 12

Like Larry...

I rather feel lik Bob on this ornanment. Really wanting to get off this ride as it's a bit crazy.
Always seems there's is so much busyness in a time I'd just really like to take it all in.



Kinda of like Snoopy. He's restful. He's chillaxin. I just really don't think he has a care in the world laying up on top of that dog house. But I'm sure that is not really realistic. I'm sure Mary and Joseph had quite the journey to Bethlehem. I'm sure that they were excited, anxious, and tired all wrapped in one. And when He came, they found the journey worth it. When He came, they found rest.

So maybe I'd should take on the attitude of Larry....he's just enjoying the ride. The days are busier than I'd like, the days are more tiring than I'd like, but they should be enjoyed. And when He comes along side I find the days worth it. When He comes along side I find rest.......

Surrender...

"Rather, I think there is something to be said for abandoning our expectations and surrendering to His." ~ Emily Freeman, Chatting at the Sky

Digging deep...

That day had been filled with the ugliness of self and the hurt of lonliness. The pain of being forgotten...or so it seemed. As I continue my 1000 Gifts journey, I find that when I most think of jotting down some gifts is when I need to look for them most. When I need to find the beauty instead of the unlovely. And they come, and sometimes I don't think I'll be able to think of one lovely thing. But then they come....

36. After 7 days of the flu for Fep, a day without fever, healing comes
37. Sunday afternoon nap
38. Sunday afternoon football and rooting for a team I normally wouldn’t. Sometimes you just need to root for those who are down.
39. Moose and his legos
40. Being remembered…so much better than being forgotten!
41. A bittersweet Womens' Christmas Dinner
40. Laughter over a kitten gone wild in our Christmas tree
41. Excellent customer service found at the Apple store. Replaced an iPod for free that was not under warranty.
42. My pup waiting for me, always near, always there. Is there really a friend so faithful as a dog?
43. God's grace, both given and received, is an unbelievable, beautiful journey
44. Christmas Tree shaped Little Debbies
45. Cute reindeer wrapping paper

1000 Gifts

20. Cleaning out three closets!
21. For the first time in weeks, a weekend at home
22. Finding the humility to go to the altar
23. Really realizing that His grace is deeper still…His love is further still
24. Realizing what it takes to give grace and not just receive it
25. Soft kitten paws
26. A purring kitten
27. How when Laura May laughs, she laughs with her whole body
28. My stomach bug was only a 4-Hour bug
29. Mammer’s chocolate pie, comfort food at it’s best

1000 Gifts

I follow her. I read her. I want to approach life as she does. Humble. Real. Grateful. After over a year of following Ann Voskamp, and even seeing Dawn make her own list in the sidebar, this week I started my own 1000 Gifts list. I've tried in the past, but always stopped because it seemed I didn't have the time. I couldn't find the little things and the list just seemed to become so generic. Will this time...would this time be any different?

My day yesterday started off poorly. Work interrupted school too much. But it was Veteran's Day and everybody else had the day off anyway. So, we embraced it and after I finished my work, we had some play time. We went to the library, and at the library, I had a slight little accident with my car. I asked Fep, "It's not too bad is it?" She shakes her hand from side to side with a look of sorrow for me on her face as to say, "I hate it for you...but it's scratched, Mom."
Ugh.

I also went for a hair appointment and wrote the biggest check I've ever written to my hair lady. 2 haircuts, 1 hair weave/color, 1 hair product, and 1 discounted Chi flat iron. I'm just sayin' that Chi purchase was a what a deal. She already had one, but bought another and never used it. She sold it to me for 1/2 price! Can you see my justifying here? Yeah. It was a big check. And I felt so very guilty over pursuing such luxuries. I still feel that guilt this morning.

I sat this morning and thought I need to check in on my 1000 Gift list. I just have to say...this list...this time...this time is different. I sat thinking, "Yesterday was a bad day. I'm going to have to dig hard. What good will I even find? Still remembering the whole car fiasco...still recovering from paying my hair dresser. My head hurt. I went to bed with a headache. I woke up with a headache. What good will I really find? Maybe a couple of gifts to find and add? But this time is different. My list is simple. The gifts are not fancy. But I do find them to be the greatest gifts. This time is different. Maybe it's in our bad days...that's where we can find the most to be grateful for? If we will only take time to look....


11. Mercy found

12. A phone call filled with excitement of the hope that change could possibly bring

13. The understanding, the memories, the knowing that someone else understands deeply – reading I Will Carry You

14.A new revelation and new insight in approaching the Lord found in the story of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus (also found in the book I Will Carry You)


15.A short chat with Heather, her voice soft like her name

16.A complete game of Scrabble with the children, and how cool a scrabble board looks when all the letters starting connecting


17.How soft my hair felt after I had it done

18. An impromptu day off school complete with lunch at Chic Fil A and a trip to the library-relaxing

19. Timothy praying over lunch at Chic Fil A, “Lord help us eat more chicken” which made me laugh and kind of had me wondering if he was being irreverent…but then... followed by a prayer for Veterans. The irreverence gone…


Maybe if I will only take the time to look.....