Goodness I love that picture of my Daddy. He was quite a looker, don't you think? Years ago, I may not have had quite the same sentiment. His undeniable good looks would have been clouded in my eyes by anger...and even worse, bitterness. Bitterness. My Daddy was an alcoholic. He drank from the time I was born until the time he was put in a nursing home for the last few years of his life. He drank for over 30 years. He caused a lot of hurt, a lot of tears, and a lot of pain.
When The Bob and I married, I would hardly speak of my Daddy. I could barely stand to think about him. The Bob and I were having a conversation in which he was trying to figure it out. The Bob came from an extremely stable home, so he just didn't get it. And it was during that conversation that I exploded. Almost literally. Every bit of pain and hurt surfaced, and I unleashed it all on my husband. It needed to happen though, because I had been in complete denial about my anger which was taking root to bitterness. So that was the starting point, and over the next several months, the LORD began to soften me and work forgiveness into my heart. Freeing. Absolute freedom.
So while Kat with the bitter heart would have not seen the man with twinkling eyes so adoringly, the heart that has forgiven sees a man who she misses very much. The heart that forgives remembers his sober times....his charm...his jokes and laughter...his good common sense...his hard work ethic...his love for cornbread and buttermilk...Yes, the heart that has forgiven misses him a lot.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32
6 comments:
1. i was glad to see that you had posted :) i missed you! adn i hope you are doing a-ok!
2. thank you for sharing this piece of your heart... i have my own daddy junk, and seeing this through your eyes gives me pause to think
3. i missed you. did i already say that?
Awwww Kat...Im glad you have found peace with your Daddy....{{hugs}}
The Man and I both come from homes with alcoholic Dad's. Mine quit drinking many years ago and I've had the benefit of watching his Jesus transformation and experiencing life with a Dad who is present. That was not how it used to be. It can be maddening when bitterness points out all the lost years when the addiction won over life and love and family. But there is most certainly peace and redemption in forgiveness, as you have so eloquently shared. Thanks for linking up, Kat.
silenced by your pain.
hope you continue on a healing and growing journey
I write about these things a lot. It helps
Forgiveness--that's a tough one.
I hope to be there 100% some day.
Oh, Kat, this was so good. I love it.
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