Looking back I did it for all the wrong reasons. It was not because of the Lord's leading. It was not because of any deep conviction. It was because of Mark Hall. You know Mark Hall, right? Oh, sure you do. Casting Crowns lead singer. They heavily endorse and promote World Vision at their concerts. And being the Casting Crowns groupie that I am, and being all caught up in that moment at the concert some 2 years ago, I signed up to sponsor a child. And so for 2 years, we have sent money each month to help this child with basic needs like school supplies, a blanket. I think that may be what he received with some extra funds we sent for his birthday. A basic black blanket given to him through World Vision. I'd imagine he'd need one as his bed is a "hand made mat". And in 2 years, I can count on one hand how many times I have written this child a letter. And now the conviction sets in. This post. And this post. And last, but not least this post. And I find myself a lame sponsor. So lame. Overwhelmed by my shallowness, I put these words by Ann Voskamp on my refrigerator with my little fellow's picture:
"Maybe we are only at our most beautiful work in the same places too --- the places where we don't hide behind the distractions of stuff, where we finally empty our hands of all our possessions and idols and come to God empty and ready. The places where we can make art with tears.
Where the notes can finally soar in the space.
No one tells you that wealth numbs you to life and consumerism callouses your soul to the sacred.
Or maybe Someone did: “"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:25 NIV)" ~ Ann Voskamp
"Maybe we are only at our most beautiful work in the same places too --- the places where we don't hide behind the distractions of stuff, where we finally empty our hands of all our possessions and idols and come to God empty and ready. The places where we can make art with tears.
Where the notes can finally soar in the space.
No one tells you that wealth numbs you to life and consumerism callouses your soul to the sacred.
Or maybe Someone did: “"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:25 NIV)" ~ Ann Voskamp
I think it will be a process to remove the calluses. I have truly been callused by consumerism and numbed by our abundance. But....last night, I pulled out all that I could find I'd been sent in two years, and looked with fresh eyes. An open heart. And I noticed. He's grown in two years. And now is the time to not just help provide his basic, physical needs...but to invest in a soul. And I may find that his is not the only soul that's filled...but mine as well.
Linked at Tuesday's Unwrapped / Chatting at the Sky
3 comments:
What a revelation! Blessings as you move forward with your renewed vision. ;)
oh kat... so raw and honest and lovely. i have been searching my own soul. wondering why i was so free in africa, and yet now that i am home i feel so tied down... to hair and clothes and... stuff. and still i am seeking... and scared. but all the while, praising God.
Those posts were powerful, weren't they? I think I cried my way through all of them.
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