Rejoicing....

The last time I saw her she was a mess. Her younger brother had just died unexpectedly from a heart attack...he was in his mid-twenties. It was the hardest funeral I have ever been to. Ever. At the funeral, her grief was open and raw. She loved him deeply.

But this night was far different. She was radiant. Beaming. The night was hers, and she knew it. It was the wedding she had waited 29 years for. Her brother was not far from our minds, and he was mentioned throughout the night. Yet, we rejoiced. This young lady who through her rebellious teen years found herself pregnant had obviously grown and matured since then. Her wedding honored the Lord and her family. Her daughter, now 10 years old, stood by her Momma during the wedding. And we rejoiced when the groom gave his new daughter a special gift. He called her over during the service and said, "Just like I made a promise to your Momma, I make this promise to you...I will always love you as my own." And he slipped a ring on her little finger just as he had slipped a ring on his bride's finger. The little girl who had been waiting for a father now had one and they hugged their first father-daughter hug. Yes, we rejoiced.

I think often that people who are forgiven much praise much. Tonight I think that people who hurt greatly rejoice greatly.

or maybe my house will be turned upside down...

Those are Emily's words from this post. And those words in Emily's post linked to this book. That book is circulating like crazy at my church and I'd not really given it much notice. But, the video clip at Amazon got my attention. Oh, it got my attention. And it was His further stirring of my heart.....I like the American Dream. I think if we're all really honest...really, really honest...we all really kinda like the American Dream.

I mentioned in the past that I wanted to take an overseas mission trip. And I do. And every time they throw up the video testimonies from Honduras at church, I cry...sometimes it's almost the ugly cry. But the Lord wants more than just my tears. I have realized within the last several days that I only want to do missions when it's comfortable for me. When we have the money. Make that when we have the extra money. Like after we've taken our vacations and spent it on our pleasures. Or when we have the time. And make that when we feel like we have the time. And so on and so on. But...the money isn't even there for vacations right now. And it really may not be the right time. But, He's showing me more...am I ready for the journey? Maybe, just now, it's an attitude of my heart...preparing me for something...maybe later it will, indeed, be that big oversees mission trip...but until then couldn't I do something? Couldn't I find room in my heart to do even the little somethings?

Surely, there is something I can do. Like writing Ro in India every month. Like checking on that relative in prison. Like finding something to do in my community. Like praying, really praying, for those who are doing His radical work. Like just loving like Jesus really loved. Do we really love like Jesus loved...or do we love Him in our American Dream or in our comfort zone... and do we really love ourselves and what we want more?????

to fill my soul...

Looking back I did it for all the wrong reasons. It was not because of the Lord's leading. It was not because of any deep conviction. It was because of Mark Hall. You know Mark Hall, right? Oh, sure you do. Casting Crowns lead singer. They heavily endorse and promote World Vision at their concerts. And being the Casting Crowns groupie that I am, and being all caught up in that moment at the concert some 2 years ago, I signed up to sponsor a child. And so for 2 years, we have sent money each month to help this child with basic needs like school supplies, a blanket. I think that may be what he received with some extra funds we sent for his birthday. A basic black blanket given to him through World Vision. I'd imagine he'd need one as his bed is a "hand made mat". And in 2 years, I can count on one hand how many times I have written this child a letter. And now the conviction sets in. This post. And this post. And last, but not least this post. And I find myself a lame sponsor. So lame. Overwhelmed by my shallowness, I put these words by Ann Voskamp on my refrigerator with my little fellow's picture:

"Maybe we are only at our most beautiful work in the same places too --- the places where we don't hide behind the distractions of stuff, where we finally empty our hands of all our possessions and idols and come to God empty and ready. The places where we can make art with tears.

Where the notes can finally soar in the space.


No one tells you that wealth numbs you to life and consumerism callouses your soul to the sacred.

Or maybe Someone did: “"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:25 NIV)" ~ Ann Voskamp

I think it will be a process to remove the calluses. I have truly been callused by consumerism and numbed by our abundance. But....last night, I pulled out all that I could find I'd been sent in two years, and looked with fresh eyes. An open heart. And I noticed. He's grown in two years. And now is the time to not just help provide his basic, physical needs...but to invest in a soul. And I may find that his is not the only soul that's filled...but mine as well.

Linked at Tuesday's Unwrapped / Chatting at the Sky

Out of the mouths of babes....

(photo credit: www.icanhascheezburger.com)

Something we are constantly working on in our house is with Fep and Moose. Moose lives to get on Fep's nerves and Fep lives to boss Moose and correct him. It's a vicious cycle...and it can be very draining on my little nervies. Fep is first born...and is everything that goes with that. Everything. However, when her first born status gets in the way, The Bob will jokingly tell her that she has "First Born Syndrome". I don't believe that's a real diagnosis, but I think maybe it should be.

The other night Moose was talking about his history book and how boring it was ,etc., etc., etc. (and I do admit, he's in an extremely boring section right now...we may just pass over this chapter) The Bob told him that maybe they could do it at night together and that might make it more "fun". For some reason, Fep has a melt down and insists that the only time a school book should be used is during school. Where she pulled that from I don't know, because she has often looked through her science book for the pure enjoyment of it? The Bob laughs and asks her if she's worried her little brother will get smarter than her. And then Moose pipes up and says, "Fep!! You just have First Sinner Syndrome!" Ummmm...not quite Moose...but close enough ;)

This is a repost from June 26, 2009. It is in honor of Taylor who went to be with the Lord yesterday morning at the young age of 14. She fought a hard battle against her cancer, but I guess it wasn't meant for her to win. He had other plans. He wanted her with Him. My thoughts are with her family, and my heart is heavy for her parents....


~Hawaiian Wishes~

In this post, I talked about all that Hawaiian decor Heather and I put out. So, who is going to Hawaii? Me? Noooooo. Not me. Better than that. What could possibly be better than ME going to Hawaii? It's that this young lady is going....


In December our company raised money for charity to sponsor a terminally ill child's wish. With the help of our customers and employees and a local retailer in our area, we were able to raise enough money to grant a wish. The approximate cost of one wish is $7000. And that's what was raised. Even at Christmas when people may already be a bit stressed about money, and even in the down economic times, people gave. And they gave. And they gave. We raised almost $5K of that $7K in a period of just 2 days.

This young lady's wish was to go to Hawaii. She was diagnosed with cancer last year and was given a 35% chance of beating it. With a lot of help from St. Jude Children's Hospital and healing from the Lord, our true Healer, she is now in remission....

Her story is not complete without her Mom. Her Mom has literally battled cancer right along with her child. Two months ago, she underwent a double mastectomy for breast cancer. She came, and I thought she looked lovely. This would be Mom with another one of her children, her son....

I was grateful to be a part of this event. Grateful for our employees who sacrificed a lot of their time to help with the fund raiser. Grateful for people who gave even in tough economic times. Grateful for volunteers who work selflessly behind the scenes....


She and her family will leave for Hawaii on Sunday. ALOHA!!

This post is linked at Emily's Tuesdays Unwrapped

Her turn...

It's funny how different your children are. And it's funny how different your reactions with them can be. When Moose left for camp, I cried like a baby. We dropped Fep off for camp on Sunday evening, and I only teared up a small bit. You'd think it be the opposite....Moose went for only 2 1/2 days to a kid's church retreat. Retreat. Fun, fun, and more fun. Air conditioned bunk houses. Fep is going to camp. Camp. Learning, learning, learning, and a little fun. No air conditioning. None. That is so important to note because our highs for the last 3 days have been in the triple digits. Fep went to an Audubon Ecology Camp. She will learn so much...and before we even left the bird instructor was already impressed and smitten by her. When it's all said and done she will have been gone 5 nights, 4 days. The longest 4 days ever. I'm only 2 days in and it's already been an eternity. So while the tears may not have flowed like they did for Moose, the longing to get my little Fep back is definitely there. I thought about her a gazillion times each day and prayed for her every time I thought of her....Lord let her make a friend...Lord let her be safe...Lord guard her mind and her heart...Lord let this be a great time for her...Lord keep her safe....Lord guard her mind and her heart....over and over with every thought of her. My last image of Fep was her about to cry when it was time for us to leave. I keep thinking of that and it just makes my heart sick. And that really is a good description for my feelings. Though the tears may not have flowed like a faucet...my heart has been sick with the absence of my Fep. I cannot wait to get her back!

Oh Lord, keep her safe....let her have a good time...guard her heart and mind...

Something Beautiful...

I made time. I pushed the work to the side and for an hour I went swimming with my children. After I got out of the pool, I laid on the hammock to get good and dry and even get a little sun. I set the timer for 15 minutes which was all I had left to spare of anything that looked like free time for the day. I turned on my iPod and "Something Beautiful" by Need to Breathe started playing. Suddenly, I was 15 again and laying out in my backyard with a small radio playing. I was seeking that savage tan...not caring at that age how unhealthy it is to "lay out". But being 15 again was something beautiful. And laying there on that hammock, Moose came and curled up beside me. Yes, we found the lost "I love you". That too, was something beautiful. I thought about Dawn as I always do when I hear that song, cause she often has it playing on her blog. And "the lady with the smiling eyes" really is something beautiful. And finally I thought about a nameless lady at church. I call her nameless, because I don't know her...although I want to. A few weeks ago, we had baptisms. They ran some video testimonies, and the nameless lady had the sweetest, most genuine testimony. It truly touched my heart. And when the pastor baptizing her asked her before submerging her in the water if she'd given her heart to Jesus, she said with a smile, "You know it." I giggled and tears filled my eyes. Her new believer enthusiasm for Christ was contagious. The following week they ran video of the baptisms and it was done with "Something Beautiful" playing in the background. And my eyes caught what my ears did not. After the nameless lady came up out of the water, she pumped her fist in the air as she proclaimed victory. Victory in Jesus was hers. She knew it, too...and she knew it was something beautiful.

And with all those random thoughts running through my mind as I laid on that hammock, I found that my 15 minutes was up. Who knew that 15 random thought filled minutes carved out of a busy day could be something beautiful?

The lost "I Love You"...

I thought that he might want to, ya know. Even though he's nine years old and really far too old for them...suddenly last night he was my baby again.

((a flurry of activity occurs in our house as we get Moose ready for church camp...his first trip away....alone....by himself....ever))

Me: Moose do you want to take your Peep?

((I was prepared to tell him how he could smuggle it in his suitcase and pull it out a night

when nobody could see))

Moose: ((Shakes head no))

Me: Oh. You want to be a big boy?

Moose: Yes Mam.

So, we finished packing with The Bob labeling everything that went into his suitcase with his initials, address, and the like. I think he labeled everything with that Sharpie except Moose himself. Me constantly telling him where his Benadryl and his Epi-Pen were in his backpack should he get stung by a a bee...or even worse, a wasp.

This morning we got up in plenty of time to get him to church. His dad left for work before anybody was awake, so he called him to tell him bye on the ride to church. Then he passed the phone to me, and The Bob talked to me about being very upbeat and not all sad and whinny so that Moose could in turn be a big boy and not be scared. We pulled into the parking lot, and the church rented a big charter bus. He's never ridden on such a big bus, so already the adventure was beginning. After waiting for the final parents and children to arrive, and after a brief summary and prayer by the Children's Pastor, the parents were told they could go. So in my very upbeat and happy voice, I told Moose bye...and we left. My last shot of him was out of the corner of my eye. He was headed toward some little boys...surely going to make friends. He makes friends easy.

((In the parking lot))

Fep: Are you about to CRY?

((strange that she knew because I had on sunglasses and she couldn't see my eyes))

Me: I'm thinking about it.

((In the car))

Me: ((Tears begin to stream)) I don't think I told him I love him. Fep, you know I love you even when I don't say it, right? Surely, he knows I love him.

((I drive contemplating how much of an idiot I would look like if I turned around, went back to church, and hugged him and told him I love him...))

I was so concerned about being all upbeat and happy and trying to ease his nervousness that my "I love you" got lost. Surely he knows from all the other times I tell him. I really do tell him often. And really, how could you not love a Moose like this....

Fep's Feathers....

Cause when Fep grows up, she wants to be like Ms. Jen :) All photos taken by Fep. And we are not clever enough to think of captions for every picture like Jen does, but we've put them where we could....

Where there's a will, there's a way...

Hello, Mr. Bluebird!

The Bluebird is The Bob's fav...

A face only a mother could love...

Ummmmm...I got nothin' here. No caption. Again, I'm no Jen.

Happy Birtday!!

A few weeks ago, we had a birthday party for a close friend. And I made him a cake. This cake...

(Rustifer is his nickname. We live by nicknames around here.)

And yes, I do homeschool my children even though I apparently cannot spell birthday correctly. There's a real reason I messed up, but I won't bore you with the details. The laughter and joking throughout the evening over it was so worth the mistake. It was the kind of laughter that makes you loose your breath. The kind of laughter that makes you cry. I just love that kind of laughter. We embraced the mistake and really got into it, because then we changed the signs....

Everybody has a birthday. But not just anybody can have a birtday ;)