Let God...

Over a year ago I read I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith. As a little side note and tidbit, she is the wife of the lead singer of the group Selah. An excellent read for anyone who has lost a child. One of the things I took from the book other than finding someone to identify with the grief of losing a baby is this point that she made: When Jesus was told that Lazarus was sick, he was simply told that Lazarus was sick. It wasn't "Jesus, Lazarus is sick and this is how I want you to fix it and this is how I want you to comfort me and this is how I want you etc., etc." And when Jesus was told there was no more wine, He was told simply that. There was no more wine. It wasn't "Jesus there is no more wine and we really could use some more and could you get us some somehow someway. Go to the store, perform a miracle, etc., etc." He was simply told the wine was gone, and then He did, in fact, perform a miracle turning water to wine. How often I tell God my problem and tell Him how I'd like it fixed. "Lord, Fep needs braces. Could you provide a big tax refund this year to pay for them?" I couldn't just leave it at "Lord, Fep needs braces." Lately in my prayer life, I've been trying to just leave it at "Lord, Fep needs braces." It is hard.

Our business can literally be feast or famine. And this morning when there wasn't enough calls to keep our techs busy for the day, I started in with "Lord, we need provision and could you cause the phone to ring, and what about this and what about that. That could provide work." But this morning remembering I just needed to tell Jesus the problem and not the solution, I stopped. I just had to stop myself. "Lord we don't have work." And that was sufficient. I work often from home, and my worry wart self decided to look at the dispatch board in the computer late this afternoon. And I was moved to tears as He is faithful to provide. Even without me telling Him how to do it and how to fix it.

I'm reminded of Ann's quote, "Bend the knee, be small, and let God give what He wants to give." Lord, keep me small. Lord, help me to remember to tell you my problem and not tell you how to fix it.