My issue with The Hunger Games...

Let me preface this in that I have not read the books and I have not seen the movie. And let me say that I am not saying I will never read the books and I will never see the movie. Focus on the Family Plugged In gives it decent reviews. And although at some time or some point I may see the movie, I do have the a couple of real struggles I am wrestling through at the moment:

1. This movie opened at midnight. Every movie that comes to mind that opened at midnight has had a dark element to it. Harry Potter. The Dark Knight. Twilight. And from what I know of the book, teens/youth being forced to kill for sport...yes, I'd say it has a dark element to it. When I read the Plugged In review, the conclusion, even in a decent review, made everything sound just so dark. Also please notice and don't miss that those movies listed are all targeted at youth.

2. Again, this movie opened at midnight and it's target audience is youth. So, they stayed up until midnight to go see it and did not get home until late thirty. Did they not have school or responsiblities the next day? They had to be exhausted. Are we that driven by the media? The world? What our friends are doing?

3. It is fantasy fiction. It may have some great moral or end line story to it. And again, I have not seen it or read the books. But I just tend to find fantasy fiction a fine line to walk because so much of it can be dark in nature. Please consider that "just because something is "fictional" in genre does not disqualify it from being enormously persuasive and influential. Even more-so, in fact!" (Cassandra at The Unplugged Family). I think we are numb to the dark tone of things in our culture. And I think it continues to be a downward spiral.

4. I read an article online that a church had taken the book and developed a bible study around it to connect with the youth in their church. Seriously?! Honestly, that just makes me want to run. I have read the critics and that the characters are self less, Christlike in giving their life for another. So we have taken a secular piece of fiction and dressed it up for the church. Media and culture should not have that much influence in the church. The church should be impacting the world and not the world impacting the church.

So, this is what I am wrestling with. Wrestling so much so that I have put this post up, taken it down, and now put it back up. I didn't want to offend anybody, but seriously...who really reads my blog!? And after talking it over with The Bob, I'm putting it back up at his encouragement. I realize that I am absolutely in the minority in my views but need to stand on my convictions.

Also, I have received an email from Cassandra at The Unplugged Family. She will have a post coming out this week on The Hunger Games. I'm sure she will have great insight and has researched it much more than myself. You can find her at the link above or her button in the sidebar.

Go Fish.

"I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me....And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you? And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me." ~ Matthew:25:36, 39, 40

Sometimes the shame is in the hiding. And freedom is found in releasing the "secret". I have a brother-in-law in prison. And for some time the only people that knew the how and why were our very closest friends. So, just a handful of about 4-5 families. And I hated telling any new friend, because I hated the shame of the why he is in prison. And I hated a lot of other things. I hated that we were called on to try to pick up pieces of a broken puzzle that we had not put together. I hated that it took its toll on us emotionally and financially. I hated collect phone calls, and visit dates, and attorney calls, and I hated dealing with the fallout of somebody else's sin. I hated a lot. And I was bitter. Bitter rolls off the tongue hard. I find that how the word bitter sounds and how it rolls off the tongue encompasses what the word means and what it is. Bitter..... And my bitterness was not the inability to forgive the sin, but because of what his sin had caused me and my family. It was all very self focused. I was angry and overwhelmed with myself for that bitterness. I am a Christian, and I know better. I know better than to let bitterness fester. I know it is everything opposite of Christ, and I know the freedom in releasing it. I found the journey to release began when Life Action Ministries came to our church for two weeks in October of last year. During which I confessed that bitterness before my church. Cause when you are hiding a "secret", is there no better place to let it out than a room of several hundred people? Well, that's evidently what the Lord thought. And He is always right.

And sometimes releasing is a journey. I began to quit dodging his calls, and on Christmas Eve I saw him for the first time since his incarceration three years ago. However, I was still overwhelmed and struggling with my feelings and emotions. I had not found that peace of release and I was desperate. I was trying to do everything I knew to and what the Lord had shown me in October. I was trying a lot...but maybe the answer is found in obedience and letting the Lord do the rest. I just needed to be obedient and the Lord would handle the rest.

I found the following John Piper video and found it so extremely helpful....

How to Fight Bitterness from Desiring God on Vimeo.

Being that my brother in law has truly repented, I surely do not want to dishonor the cross and the sacrifice of Christ. So, I just began to pray, and I quit trying to fix it in my own power. I had agreed with God over my sin, so I began telling him my struggle with the emotion, and feelings, and that I needed to love my brother-in-law. And I began praying to do that. To love him like Jesus does.

The second Sunday of February was another visitation. My sweet husband told me, "You really don't have to go every time I go. I know it is not easy, and it is not fun." But I told him in my spirit I knew I needed to go. And I thought about what he said....how it's not easy. And all this time I've been sending him alone. In the past three years could I have not come alongside my husband and offered support I'm sure he needed? I am convicted of my selfishness. Really. How self absorbed can I be?

The visit was much better than my first. My attitude was as good as it can be when you are going into a prison. We ate snacks. We played games. Moose, myself, and my brother-in-law played Go Fish. I didn't really think anything about the day other than I knew it was a much better visit than my first. That night as we got ready for bed The Bob told me how much he appreciated what I did. I was a bit surprised and then he said, "You played games with him. We've never done that before....and you loved him today." The Bob had not known my prayers to love...to really love. And my heart swelled with thanksgiving in that maybe he was right. The Lord is still working it out and is not finished with me...shown through a simple game of Go Fish.

At last....

Last song listened to on iPod: Stevie Wonder "For Once in My Life"



It's a good thing Stevie can stand on his on talent. Cause those girls dancing...not sure what they were thinking...

Last thing I spent money on: postage stamps

Last thing I ate: salad and baked potato and (2) Golden Double Stuff Oreo cookies

Last thing I read: Fep's school work

Last show I watched on TV: I Love Lucy

Last movie I watched: The Help

Last person I talked to on phone: my Mom

Last person I texted: Lisa ....oops, nope!...my Mom

Last book I read (besides the Bible): Candle in the Darkness

The smallest moment.

We are still counting a year of graces. I personally have been working at this for about a year now. And I think I'm just now getting it. It was my children's smiles over my writing "Rupert's soft, warm ears". After they commented on it, I thought about that moment. It was very cold, he was trotting happily beside me on our way to the mailbox. And I reached over for a simple pet. And those ears in that cold were soft...and warm...and silky. And thinking about that moment I got it. We are surrounded by life. Life!! Life that God gives for our enjoyment. Everyday life is most beautiful. Yes, it's painful and hard and I could go on and on and on. But in each day, just look. Look and there you will find something than money can't buy or that materialism won't trump. Just look for it in the smallest moments and you'll find it.... Gifts to you from Him.

Let God...

Over a year ago I read I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith. As a little side note and tidbit, she is the wife of the lead singer of the group Selah. An excellent read for anyone who has lost a child. One of the things I took from the book other than finding someone to identify with the grief of losing a baby is this point that she made: When Jesus was told that Lazarus was sick, he was simply told that Lazarus was sick. It wasn't "Jesus, Lazarus is sick and this is how I want you to fix it and this is how I want you to comfort me and this is how I want you etc., etc." And when Jesus was told there was no more wine, He was told simply that. There was no more wine. It wasn't "Jesus there is no more wine and we really could use some more and could you get us some somehow someway. Go to the store, perform a miracle, etc., etc." He was simply told the wine was gone, and then He did, in fact, perform a miracle turning water to wine. How often I tell God my problem and tell Him how I'd like it fixed. "Lord, Fep needs braces. Could you provide a big tax refund this year to pay for them?" I couldn't just leave it at "Lord, Fep needs braces." Lately in my prayer life, I've been trying to just leave it at "Lord, Fep needs braces." It is hard.

Our business can literally be feast or famine. And this morning when there wasn't enough calls to keep our techs busy for the day, I started in with "Lord, we need provision and could you cause the phone to ring, and what about this and what about that. That could provide work." But this morning remembering I just needed to tell Jesus the problem and not the solution, I stopped. I just had to stop myself. "Lord we don't have work." And that was sufficient. I work often from home, and my worry wart self decided to look at the dispatch board in the computer late this afternoon. And I was moved to tears as He is faithful to provide. Even without me telling Him how to do it and how to fix it.

I'm reminded of Ann's quote, "Bend the knee, be small, and let God give what He wants to give." Lord, keep me small. Lord, help me to remember to tell you my problem and not tell you how to fix it.

Word!...

So, after the last post you'd think my word for the year is "Gratitude". But it's not. That was probably my word last year. This year's word...

Proverbs talks a lot about the simple, and not necessarily in a good way! I'm not talking that kind of simple, I'm talking simplifying...simplicity in order. I've lived a cluttered, busy, too busy, unorganized, and unplanned several months. Our home, my attitude, our finances have all suffered because of it. Maybe "intentional" would be my runner up word. Careful thought to what goes on the calendar, how the days are spent, where that money goes. When I think about simplifying my life, it gives me a warm fuzzy.

What word inspires you?

17th Year...

17 Years ago today I married The Bob. Three little tidbits of what I know:

*You have to fight for your marriage, and while there are seasons of highs there are also seasons of lows. A great marriage doesn't just happen without work. The pressure of the world, friends, children, extended family, work, hobbies, activities, finances, and plain ole life will all try to crowd out what was set apart for you and your spouse. Not to mention the devil delights in failed marriages.

*Love is a commitment. Not a warm fuzzy. Not that warm fuzzies don't happen, but that warm fuzzies are surface and commitments go deep.

*People change. But hopefully if your marriage is Christ-centered, you'll grow in the change for the good and the better. Our marriage should enhance who we are in Christ. So thankful to be married to a man who does just that.

A Year of Graces....

When I saw this from Ann Voskamp, I knew I was in. It sounds so simple. Too easy. Write down one, just one, thing for the day you found to be grateful for. Only one thing. But then she pointed out, just one thing, and at the end of the year you have charted 365 things. All by His grace. And as He has changed my heart through her words over the past year regarding gratitude, I knew that it was something that must be fostered not just in my heart but also in the heart of my children. So, Sunday evening as we set out our goals and family goals for 2012, I pulled out their sheets. And I copied one for the Bob (too lazy to print out another ;)). And he said, "Let's hang them altogether." All that thankfulness lined up for all to see.

I never realized how powerful, just 3 days in, that it would be. That on day 1 gratitudes would be found in altars and prayers of friends. And all that Grace showing through the heart of my children.

Ann signs off so much of what she writes with "All is grace". Shaun Groves, of Compassion, pointed out in a song he wrote because of her saying those words, that there is deep profoundness in those three little words. All. Is. Grace. I'll let you think about that for a minute...let it seep deep into your heart...

If you'd like to chart A Year of Graces you can go here.

Fish are friends not food....

So, I have once again joined Weight Watchers. About 3 years ago I joined and lost 20 or so pounds. Fast forward to now and I gained all that back plus some. Once I reached "maintenance" I got all lazy about going in to weigh. It was all down hill after that. A pound here. Two pounds there. And so on...

Weight Watchers works for me because:

1. I hate paying for it. I'm a frugal wannabe kind of gal, and if I'm paying hard earned cash lose that weight, I'm going to stick to it. Once you hit maintenance on Weight Watchers for 6 weeks you don't have to pay the fees any longer. I had just gotten to free three years ago, and I quit going..

2. It makes me accountable. Nothing like standing on a scale for somebody every week.

3. I can still have a treat. Last week I lost 1.4 lbs and that was with all the good holiday eating.

4. It's rather fun. Seriously. Fun. Those meetings are cheesy and corny and motivational all rolled in one.

After the first meeting, the kids and I decided the meetings felt something like this scene from Finding Nemo:

Hello. My name is Kathy. I am a nice person not a mindless eating machine. It has been three weeks since my last Krispy Kreme ;)

Tebow and Voskamp

What could Tim Tebow and Ann Voskamp possibly have in common?

One person extremely famous. One person with only moderate fame. But both with a passion for Jesus.

Then I read it early in the morning. A story on students getting suspended for "Tebowing". I couldn't help but walk away from the article thinking, "I wonder if his message is getting lost. Are we starting to bow before Tebow instead of bowing before Christ?"

I leave the article to check email where daily I get Ann Voskamp's daily blog post. She never ceases to challenge. She never ceases to touch my heart. She never ceases to make me want to seek a little harder after Christ. And sometimes, dare I say it? I'd really like to be like her.

Then the thoughts hit hard...."You should not want to be like Ann Voskamp. You should want to be like the One she emulates. Just like the Tebow thing." She's only trying to point to the Cross and not herself. She's just daily trying to empty herself of herself. And it comes hard. But when we truly seek Christ, when we truly want to look more like Him, we have to abandon self. Self dies hard. Putting off idols. Putting off self. Putting on Jesus......